Have you noticed that self-care has become yet another thing we are expected to be good at? Because we live in a world where we are constantly comparing ourselves to see if we measure up to some version of an ideal person, we have focused on the behavior of self-care and whether or not we have done it.
This is colossally missing the point.
Self-care is not a set of behaviors. It is an attitude toward ourselves. It starts with the foundational perspective of valuing ourselves, of believing in our own self-worth.
Self-worth is about who you are, not about what you do.
When you look at yourself through the lens of knowing your inherent worth, you will see that you do not need to be fixed, but you do need to be responsible for your own wellness, development, and growth.
People who have a strong sense of self worth understand these 6 truths:
- I am responsible for knowing my values and making decisions with them in mind.
- I am responsible for identifying my needs, wants and desires.
- I am responsible for setting goals and achieving them.
- I am responsible for my choices.
- I am responsible for what I do to others and what I allow others to do to me.
- I am responsible for how much I enjoy my life, even if the face of challenges.
What would happen if you decided to take full responsibility for yourself?
You would be clearer about who you are and want to intentionally take care of yourself.
You would feel like a true authority in your life.
You would stop asking for permission or putting yourself last.
Effective self-care cannot be reactionary. It cannot be something we resort to because we are so absolutely exhausted that we need some relief from our own relentlessness.
Self-care that is rooted in self-worth is not the same hackneyed idea that we must put our own oxygen mask on before we can tend to others. It is knowing that we put on our own oxygen mask because we are worth saving.