Is it time to create a “new normal?”

Posted on Apr 6, 2017

“Sometimes, I wish I was a celebrity,” Lisa said as she walked in to my office. She explained that she wasn’t interested fame or materialism.  She was jealous of the celebrities who were being treated for exhaustion.

 

Lisa was stuck in a vicious cycle.  She knew intellectually that if she didn’t do something to take care of herself, she would feel exhausted all the time. Unfortunately, she was already too tired to take care of herself.

 

Waiting to take care of yourself until you are completely spent is like waiting for your car to be completely out of gas before you refill the tank.  You’ll inevitably break down on the side of the road and need to be rescued.

 

Lisa is like a lot of my clients who are chronically busy and over-extended.  They have a default-thinking pattern that says “It all has to be done, by me, as soon as possible.”

 

No wonder they’re so exhausted.

 

Does this sound familiar? 

 

For people like Lisa, “it all has to be done, by me, as soon as possible,” might have worked well in the past, when there were fewer responsibilities and commitments.  To them, it feels normal.

But now, this thought pattern is not doing them any good.

 

When we believe that “It all has to be done, by me, right now,” we paradoxically neglect ourselves.  After all, if I am to only one who can do everything, I better take care of myself or everything else will suffer.

Unfortunately, we have plenty limiting beliefs to keep us stuck and miserable:

  • I am too tired.
  • I don’t have enough time.
  • I don’t have any help.
  • If I don’t do it, no one else will.

 

It ‘s time to create a new normal–one that actually serves you. 

 

The first step is pressing pause. I know it is not sexy, but it is true.

 

A pause is an opportunity to disrupt our default thinking and habitual behaviors.

 

When my clients are feeling really chaotic, we use the pause to create clarity and challenge the thoughts that keep them feeling crappy.

 

Here is the process I use:

Step 1:  Brain dumpwrite it all down. Seriously, everything on your plate.

Step 2: Examine all the items to discern which hold up to the criteria “it all has to be done by me right now”

Your list should now be a fraction of its original size.

Step 3: Figure out what self-care means for you.  It has to be something that you feel replenished after doing it.

Step 4: Sit down with your calendar and schedule self-care before you schedule anything else.

 

When we press play after a pause, we have more clarity to make choices about how we want to be, how we want to spend our time and how we want to feel.

 

If you believe that being busy is evidence of your worth, then you probably believe that you have no time to create space, to think, and reflect. It’s time to start questioning that belief.

 

I know that pressing pause when your life feels like it’s on fast-forward feels unnatural (and even impossible to some).

 

But, trust me, a pause is your opportunity to create your own “new normal.”

 

If creating a new normal resonates with you, click here to schedule a free 30 minute call with me.  During the call, we create a vision for how you want your life to be, uncover what’s keeps you stuck, put together an action plan for moving you forward. It’s a pretty power packed 30 minutes if you ask me!

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